My name is Melissa, I am 6’2 (this will be important later) and happily married. I have a degree in Graphic Design, but a heart for people and helping them find their identity in Christ. Although it has been a little while since my teenage years (…I’m 31), many of the decisions I made then are still impacting me today.
When I was asked to look back at my life and give my “teenage self” some wisdom, so many things came to mind – but to narrow it down to just three things, here is what I know:
1. You’re more __________ than you think. Feel free to fill that blank in with any verb you are struggling with currently – brave, pretty, interesting, lovely, happy, blessed – whatever first comes to your mind. For me, that word was incredible (although all the other words were a close second).
Don’t hear this wrong – I am not promoting a conceded heart or an unhealthy reality (I definitely have weaknesses). I am promoting worth and value. See, I couldn’t look past my faults to really find my strengths. Despite literally towering over most of my friends, I often walked in their shadows – imagining myself to less “everything” than they were.
Because of this I didn’t fully embrace who I was and what I was capable of. So instead I looked to find my value in all the wrong places.
All this taught me that when all you look at is your own faults – others strengths will always outshine your own. I have not become famous or even come close to matching some of my friends strengths – but I have found my own version of “incredible”. Don’t underestimate yours.
2. This one is two parts.
A) Don’t take yourself too seriously (it’s no fun).
B) Don’t try to grow up too fast (it’s fun, but not until you’re actually grown up).
“A” is simple: BE SILLY! Yes, people are watching – but when you start to get shy -remember that if they are not being silly, they are actually envious that you have the courage to be fully you. Don’t be so serious. Try not to worry about what people think.
“B” is a little more complicated. Being a grown-up IS fun – but acting like a grown up when you’re in your teens is a recipe for disaster (emphasis added!). Making grown-up decisions before you are ready – results in outcomes that will stay with you your whole life. Always thinking about the future and never living in the moment – doesn’t make for good memories. Desiring, and chasing after, grown-up relationships and experiences –leaves you emptier than you were before they started (not to mention heartbroken). I made too many decisions, years before I should have, that ended in consequences that I have had to face multiple times over. “B” is hard… “B” hurts… because although I know that my past has made me who I am today, I’d rather not have a past to have to overcome. Look forward to becoming an adult – it can be wonderful – but be patient, you’ll get there. Act your age… it’s fun too.
3. This one is key. Really, I mean REALLY get to know Christ. I was lucky, I was the daughter of a pastor – I knew faith, and religion – I knew the ins and outs of church. What I didn’t know was Christ – and how much he loved me. All other things would have fallen into place if I had centered my life on Him. Decisions, consequences, love, happiness, confidence… God cares about everything. We recently had my 18 year old niece live with us and over, and over I found myself admiring her maturity in Christ that was way beyond her years. She chose right – only God can provide everything she needs, and her future will look a lot different because of her commitment. Above all else, let God guide your steps and He will weave your life together in a way that not even you could ever imagine.
That’s not remotely everything – but those are at the top of my list. Growing up is hard, but I promise you that you are capable of more than you could imagine.
Melissa, 31, USA
