This time every year, you can’t help but sit back and reflect on the last year as it comes to an end. It may have felt like the year flew by quickly or it may have felt that it would never end. It may have been one of the best years of your life and you never want to forget it. Or maybe it was a year filled with many difficult moments and you can’t wait to start a new year. However your year has been, the good news is that there is another year and a new start.

2016 will begin in a few days. You have a new start. Will you continue being the person you were in 2015? What will you change this next year? Where is your relationship with Jesus? How do you want to grow? Before 2016 arrives, make goals. Dream. Believe in the BIG things God has for you this next year. Take time to pray and listen to what God may be trying to tell you. We all have made mistakes and will probably continue to make mistakes. But the wonderful thing is that God offers forgiveness and grace. We can go to Him about anything and He offers a new start. A new beginning. A new life.

So, for this next year, above everything else, remember these words, declare them, and say them out loud:

(Speak this over yourself)
“I am deeply loved,
divinely appointed,
abundantly equipped,
and profoundly cherished by God.
No enemy plan, scheme or obstacle can
keep me from God’s highest and best
will for me. As I follow the voice of my Savior,
I see the invisible, accomplish the impossible,
and love the unlovable.
I am a living-breathing miracle because
Jesus Christ lives in me!
Amen.”

-Susie Larson

Happy near year!

If only I could sit down with my teenage self today and give a few words of encouragement. I never really had anyone growing up that I would have called a mentor. You know, someone who would just tell you the truth. I feel like if I only would have had someone tell me once that I had purpose and meaning, I would have made much better decisions in my early life. Instead, I heard messages about how I was never doing anything right. I tried hard to please everyone; some in good ways and then again, in some not so honoring to God. Would you let me be that friend and mentor that I never had? May I speak to your heart today and tell you the truth that was never shared with me as a teenage girl?

First, God made you unique with talents and gifting like no other person in the world. He created you from the inside out starting with your heart and soul. He created you to love and share a deep, intimate and trusting relationship with Him. There is no reason in the world to believe that He is waiting at every turn to beat you up and want to punish and reject you because you are not perfect. The very second you were formed in the mind and eye of God, you were called “perfect” because you were formed in His own image. Yes, you were made in God’s image.  God’s opinion of you and your immense worth to Him never changes.  There is nothing that could ever stop Him from loving and adoring you.  Nothing. Take Him at His word when He says “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” You can trust God. Don’t measure His promises and His love by the acts of others. He is trustworthy and has your best interest in mind at all times. He has an amazing plan for your life and you can depend on that always. There will be a tendency to measure yourself by what others do and say.  Looking for acceptance by others and measuring your self-worth by what others say rather than what God says about you is dangerous. Choose your friends well. Make sure that you and they are building each other up with God’s opinion instead of what the world would want you to believe.

Believe that you were made with a purpose.  You may not see your unique purpose today, but the people you meet and the details of every day are strategically planned by God. He tells us in His word we “are His handiwork, created in Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” The great news is that not only do you have purpose but God, who made heaven and earth, trusts you to do His work! He trusts you and only you and His confidence is in you. Yes, there are days when everything seems to go wrong. Remember you view your life as if you are walking in the fog.  You cannot see ahead of yourself clearly. You keep going on but don’t see the full picture. However, God sees all things in the big picture of your life and how your life will intersect with others. As you lean on Him for direction and guidance, He cheers you on and says, “That’s my girl!! I am so very proud of her”.

You see my friend, never ever forget God is for you.  He is proud of you, and trusts you in the amazing plan He has for your life as He cheers you on.

Pam, USA

Dear Sixteen-year-old me,

Hey girl! I know you have lots going on right now but it’s really important we have a talk; an important talk. It’s me, you, but you 28 years from now and there are some life changing things you have to know before you make some terrible choices. So, if you could turn off that TV and disconnect that phone, it would be great because what I am about to say can be life altering, if you choose to listen to yourself.

I hate to tell you this, but our years have been pretty tough since and had I known what I know now, I could have avoided a lot of heartache and pain. So, that’s why I’m making the time to talk to you today. I’ve found myself saying, “Why didn’t someone tell me this?” quite a bit lately. And I look back and realize: some of the things nobody told me and some of the things someone wanted to and tried to tell me but I didn’t listen. I didn’t listen because… I knew it all. 😉 Well, guess what girl, you don’t know it all and because you aren’t listening to the people who love you with genuine hearts; your road is going to be rough and ugly unless you are willing to listen to what you (the older and much wiser you) has to say.

I’ll try my best to keep it short and spare you the ugly details of your choices but here are five fast facts you have to hear sooner instead of later.

1. MOM: I know you’re pretty independent now, but you need to know, mom is very important and you still need her. You need to be talking with her and listening to her advice. I know you think she won’t understand but she does. She was once your age and although things were different “back then” the emotions, feelings and needs of a girl are still very much the same. Mom understands the things you are facing, she went through many of the same things, and look, she survived them. Don’t be afraid to ask her questions about her teen days. She’ll share them with you. She just doesn’t because you don’t give her time.

I need you to stop and think differently about mom for a minute. You see, there are many women in this world and you could have been given any of them as your mom but you weren’t. You have the mom that was picked just for you. A woman who was excited when she learned she was pregnant was chosen just for you. You were preciously placed inside her womb to be carefully and wonderfully knit together. Your growth took many minutes, days, and months before you were ready to enter this world. Through every one of those, that woman was bonding with you and learning to love you with an unconditional love. Once you entered this world she wanted the best for you. She took care of all your needs and always put those needs before her own. She was your first friend and will be your forever friend until the day she dies. But, the hard reality is, the day will come when she is no longer there like she was. It will break your heart and you will have lots of regret. So, get it through that beautiful brain of yours, you need to trust, talk with, listen to and respect your mom. She loves you with all her heart and only wants what is truly best for you. And she knows what that best is.

2. CLOTHES: You know those clothes that everybody else is wearing that you just have to have and throw fits when you don’t get them … well, they aren’t all that amazing. That name brand and expensive price tag doesn’t prove anything about you. You weren’t made to fit in you were designed to stand out. Be a pink flamingo amongst a gang of turkeys! Wear clothes that you like, that look good on you & your body shape, and keep it modest. You want to catch someone’s attention by the nice things you do, the kind way you treat others and the class you have. The best designer thing you can wear is your smile.

3. FRIENDS: Friends will come and friends will go. And yes, they are important but friends are like shoes. There are different ones for different moments in your life. Think about those High Heels – They look really good and can take you to new heights but if you aren’t careful they’ll cause you to fall. And those Flip Flops – What you see is what there is. And most importantly those Running shoes – They’ll go the distance with you. Just like a pair of shoes needs two to be complete, you have to be a real friend to have a real friend. Remember this, a real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

4. BOYFRIENDS: Learn to be friends with boys. You shouldn’t have to date a guy to get to know him. He should be a good friend before you consider giving him your full attention and your heart. Don’t start a relationship on how someone looks but build one on how they act.

5. GOD: I know you believe in a God who created the earth and looks down on you, watching every move you make, but remember that thing you went to when you were 14 and they told you about a man who was called names, made fun of, spit on, beat up and gave his life because of His love for you? Yes, remember, that man named Jesus, and how how you felt when you heard about this and you went forward and gave your heart to Him? Then, you left that night with a fire in your heart and a new excitement but you didn’t know what to do next? So, that fire went out? Well, there are people who want to come alongside you and help you figure out what to do next in order to keep that fire burning so your poor choices don’t burn you. Well, you can find these people at a church or in a girls ministry group like glittr. There are women there who have been there and done that and want to share their bad for your good and help you find out how to have a relationship with Him that will finally fill that spot your are trying to fill in your life.

I’m sure your attention span is gone. So, I will end and you can read this letter again but only one number a week and really think about what I have said. Now, you can say a little less, “I wish someone would’ve told me,” because you have told you. And, now that you know different, BE DIFFERENT!

YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW! I LOVE YOU AND BELIEVE IN YOU!

Sincerely, Me

Katie, USA, 44

Greetings to my young sisters in Romania. Although we are miles apart, and our age difference is great we have much in common. You see, each of us has a destiny in Christ and all have an important story to tell with our lives. Honestly one thing I would offer to each of you is to STOP looking back at your mistakes. God takes our mistakes and somehow weaves them into a story of redemption. The Bible tells us in Psalm 139 that God formed our inward parts, and that no matter where we are He is with us. “Oh Lord you have searched me and know me. You know my sitting down and my rising up. You understand my thought afar off..”

So point number:
1. Don’t look BACK unless it is to tell someone the story of how God redeemed your life. Yesterday is gone and HE is present with you NOW. He has a future and a hope for you so look FORWARD. And know that sometimes it is hard to even imagine all that God has in store for you. 1 Corinthians 2 verse 9 reminds us: What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived, the things God has prepared for those who LOVE Him. Wow that is really good news!!

2. It is so tempting to look at others and compare what you see in their lives, to what you see in yours. I want you to hear me say this really loud…KEEP YOU EYES ON HIM…. not others. God has written His story on your heart and He wants you to live that story. Over and over we are told to give thanks on all occasions, to praise God no matter what our circumstances because that shows our trust in His goodness and builds our hope and faith. When you compare yourself to someone else it is very easy to start thinking thoughts that do not line up with God’s heart and word for you. Remember that when you look at others mostly you will see what they want to be seen. God always looks at our hearts and we are not so good at looking at another’s heart and seeing clearly. If you do look at others, try looking at them with the love of God not in comparing with you.

3. Know that you are not the only person wondering how you fit it in this life. Every person wants to belong, and to feel loved. And with Christ in your life, His love never changes and does not depend on your circumstance. Looking back on my life there are times I wish I would have encouraged others more, and given others hope. I would tell my teenage self to slow down and see what God is doing in my life right now. I would look for how He is working all things together for my good instead of worrying how I fit in.

4. Pick your friends wisely and then be a good friend. It is so important to build community with others who have hopes, dreams, and faith like you, friends who love the same God you do. It is not that you won’t have others in your life who may have different beliefs than you do, but for close friends lean toward those who do. You want to build relationships with others who will build you up in the love of Christ, those who will give you courage and hope. Finding friends that you can share your life, vision, and heart with is a gift from God. Treat your friendships with love and grace….and have lots of fun. And find a friend who is older than you that you can share your heart with. And don’t forget to be a friend to those younger that you that need encouragement.

I pray each of you will know fully the love of God and have many years of building others up, of growing in His image, and shining brightly where you are planted. I pray that you will be confident of His goodness toward you and certain of the hope of your calling and I hope to hear the stories of your lives! Much love to you from this older woman in Indiana who still feels young in her heart because of Jesus.

Love,
Carla

Being a teenager is hard no matter which crowd you are in. If you are popular you are always having to have the right clothes, say the right things, have the perfect boyfriend and have a lot friends who hang on your every word.

If you are in the unpopular crowd you are always worried about if you will get made fun of today or if someone will be mean to you, etc.

As a teenager I think everyone deals with Insecurity and finding out who you are and what you will do with you life.

I would have told myself to live life to the fullest! Be bold in who you are and not be so worried if you have the right clothes on. All that doesn’t matter in life, what matters is who you are in Christ. What can you do to make a difference right where you are.

I would have focused more on studying and less on what others thought of me. Less on what guys thought and more of what God thought. I would say to myself to go after your dreams and don’t hold back.

I wouldn’t have allowed words to predict whether I would have went after my dreams. Those words of you can’t do that! I would have turned those words around and said I will! I would have listened more to advice from those who had wisdom in life.

I would say to my teenage self not to live life with regrets. To focus on what’s important and to never take for granted the moments in life you get. To make the most of every opportunity you have in life.

Starla, 32, USA

What I wish I could have told my teenage self…Blonde hair does not look good on you. Don’t buy those jeans – they will be out of style in a month!  Driving fast is not cool. Your mom is not trying to ruin your life – one day she’ll be your best friend. Don’t use foul language, don’t gossip, study hard and get good grades, don’t drink alcohol, don’t do drugs, keep your body to yourself! I could go on for pages!

The biggest piece of advice I wish I could have told my teenage self is… “don’t date him”. And when I say “him” I am referring to whole string of “him’s”. In the 5th grade I dated one of the most popular boys in my grade. I thought I was really special to be lucky enough to be called his girlfriend. This started a string of relationships in my life that I allowed to determine my self-worth (which in case you don’t know – is not a good reason to date someone!)

Each relationship was a stepping stone on a path leading me away from who God had called me to be. I allowed these relationships to define who I was and how others saw me. I wanted to be the life of the party, the girl up for anything, the girl who wouldn’t say no. Looking back it seems so silly… why would those titles be so important to me??? But they were. And all of them came with consequences:  Sickness and hangovers, public embarrassment, cheating and abusive boyfriends, a police record, and the loss of my virginity at a young age.

My Pastor once said “God never uses our past against us. When we live for Him He gives us a new present and a new future”. While I know Jesus forgives me, I wish I could have been spared the hurt of what I went through. Each day we are given choices. When I was a teenager I didn’t take time to stop and think about how each choice would change me. I made countless poor decisions that were based on getting attention from boys. What I wish I could have told my teenage self is being a smart, kind, honest woman will get you further in life than being “the pretty girl” will. I was so worried about being desirable or “sexy” that I hid who God made me. I wish I could have told myself being different is good. Being unique is desirable. I wish I could have told myself to believe in who God created me to be.

I wish I could have told myself to live for Jesus. Not just sometimes – but in all times and in all ways. If the God of the Universe was willing to die just for me, why don’t I live like I would die for Him?

God made you exactly the way you are for his purpose and HE has a plan for your life. He is the only “him” you need to worry about.

Renee, 30, USA

Dear teenage Amanda,

Where to begin…there’s so much I want to tell you while you are still young and have the rest of your life to live.

I know how hard it can be to be a teenage girl in this day and age. There are many pressures that you face on a daily basis. Whether it be from peers, social media, tabloids, or even at home, sometimes that pressure feels overwhelming.

The first thing I would tell you: A hunger need is a dangerous need. Be careful for what you’re “hungry” for. As girls, it’s easy to want attention, to be pursued, and to be wanted. When you don’t allow Christ to satisfy this deep hunger, you’ll start searching for it in other areas. Often time girls look for it in guys. That leads to a lot of regret and heartache. And when it’s all said and done, that “hunger” will never leave you satisfied. You’ll always be left wanting more and that road leads to a very dangerous path.

Secondly: when you compare and compete you live in defeat. Amanda, don’t compare yourself to others. God made you unique and special for such a time as this. The Bible says, “that I (Christ) have come to give you life and life to the fullest.”

When you don’t know your identity in Christ, you’ll live an unsatisfied life. You will never be happy or content. There is so much freedom when you know who you are in Christ. Nothing will stop you; nothing will hold you back. Find what you are gifted in and use that to build God’s Kingdom.

Finally, when you can’t see God’s hand; trust His heart. There will be many times in life when it feels like God is a million miles away. Just know that He is for you and will never leave you or forsake you. If you choose to fight through those dark and lonely times, you’ll see God’s character shine through each time.

Amanda, 30, USA

My name is Melissa, I am 6’2 (this will be important later) and happily married. I have a degree in Graphic Design, but a heart for people and helping them find their identity in Christ. Although it has been a little while since my teenage years (…I’m 31), many of the decisions I made then are still impacting me today.

When I was asked to look back at my life and give my “teenage self” some wisdom, so many things came to mind – but to narrow it down to just three things, here is what I know:
1. You’re more __________ than you think. Feel free to fill that blank in with any verb you are struggling with currently – brave, pretty, interesting, lovely, happy, blessed – whatever first comes to your mind. For me, that word was incredible (although all the other words were a close second).
Don’t hear this wrong – I am not promoting a conceded heart or an unhealthy reality (I definitely have weaknesses). I am promoting worth and value. See, I couldn’t look past my faults to really find my strengths. Despite literally towering over most of my friends, I often walked in their shadows – imagining myself to less “everything” than they were.
Because of this I didn’t fully embrace who I was and what I was capable of. So instead I looked to find my value in all the wrong places.
All this taught me that when all you look at is your own faults – others strengths will always outshine your own. I have not become famous or even come close to matching some of my friends strengths – but I have found my own version of “incredible”. Don’t underestimate yours.

2. This one is two parts.
A) Don’t take yourself too seriously (it’s no fun).
B) Don’t try to grow up too fast (it’s fun, but not until you’re actually grown up).
“A” is simple: BE SILLY! Yes, people are watching – but when you start to get shy -remember that if they are not being silly, they are actually envious that you have the courage to be fully you. Don’t be so serious. Try not to worry about what people think.
“B” is a little more complicated. Being a grown-up IS fun – but acting like a grown up when you’re in your teens is a recipe for disaster (emphasis added!). Making grown-up decisions before you are ready – results in outcomes that will stay with you your whole life. Always thinking about the future and never living in the moment – doesn’t make for good memories. Desiring, and chasing after, grown-up relationships and experiences –leaves you emptier than you were before they started (not to mention heartbroken). I made too many decisions, years before I should have, that ended in consequences that I have had to face multiple times over. “B” is hard… “B” hurts… because although I know that my past has made me who I am today, I’d rather not have a past to have to overcome. Look forward to becoming an adult – it can be wonderful – but be patient, you’ll get there. Act your age… it’s fun too.

3. This one is key. Really, I mean REALLY get to know Christ. I was lucky, I was the daughter of a pastor – I knew faith, and religion – I knew the ins and outs of church. What I didn’t know was Christ – and how much he loved me. All other things would have fallen into place if I had centered my life on Him. Decisions, consequences, love, happiness, confidence… God cares about everything. We recently had my 18 year old niece live with us and over, and over I found myself admiring her maturity in Christ that was way beyond her years. She chose right – only God can provide everything she needs, and her future will look a lot different because of her commitment. Above all else, let God guide your steps and He will weave your life together in a way that not even you could ever imagine.
That’s not remotely everything – but those are at the top of my list. Growing up is hard, but I promise you that you are capable of more than you could imagine.

Melissa, 31, USA

Being a female in this world is not easy. There are so many things putting pressure on us to appear a certain way or do certain things. In middle school and high school, much of my focus and energy was spent on trying to be like other people. When my friends would listen to certain music, I would start listening to it. When my friends had boyfriends, I was pressured to have a boyfriend. When my friends got to help lead at youth group, I felt like I wasn’t good enough if I didn’t help as well. In the search to find love, acceptance, and identity, I was chasing after a fulfillment that I thought being like someone else “better than me” would bring.

As I am now about to graduate from my university and move on into the “real world”, I can now look back with a realization that I wish my younger-self had. If I had the chance to turn back time and talk to my teenage self, I would tell her one thing: stop worrying what how other people have it or what other people think of you and just be yourself. We waste so much time and energy focusing on how to be “with it”. Because we spend time caring about how people view us or trying to be like someone else, we end up missing out on so much of life. Rather, we should be spending time worrying about the person that God has made us to be and the life He has planned out for us.

We are all victims of this… of what has been named the “comparison trap”. I was a victim of it as a teenager and fall into it still today. This is when we look at other people’s lives, their opportunities, their possessions, their looks, their experiences, their relationships, and their talents, comparing them to our own lives. For some reason, we let that comparison determine the quality of our own life. Maybe you’re thinking, well what is wrong with that? The truth is, comparison produces nothing beneficial. When we perceive that someone else has it better than us, we begin to think that we will never measure up. This pushes us into a cycle of chasing after false satisfaction and a false identity. The opposite end of the comparison trap is also just as bad: believing that someone else isn’t as good as us. This creates in us a heart of judgement that does not portray the love of Christ. The comparison trap lures us away from the truth of the God’s love. God loves the diversity all of us, and He loves each person just the same. Yet, we persist try to squeeze into a mold that the world claims is the perfect person.

So what can we do to avoid the comparison trap? A magazine from the States that I love, called Relevant Magazine, published an article on “How to Avoid the Comparison Trap”, in which they gave three excellent points of advice:
1. Celebrate the diversity and complexity of God’s creation.
2. Build up instead of tearing down.
3. Remember who you are.
To combat the lies, please note that God did not create humans to fit a mold that is labeled as the perfect human being. He is a creative, complex God who creates complex and diverse people to reflect His image – and He calls us good (Genesis 1:26-31). Thus, we should appreciate the diversity among us. After all, life would be boring if we were all exactly the same. Would you want everyone to be just like you? My guess is probably not. In appreciating diversity, let’s try hard to build each other up and not tear each other down (Ephesians 4:29). Christ loves each person and died on the cross for all – no matter what they look like or what they have. Therefore, we should seek to love each person through our thoughts, actions, and words. That includes you. Remember that God created you to be exactly the way that you are for a purpose – and He calls YOU very good (Psalm 139:13-16). Your looks, your talents, your personality, your interests, your capabilities, and the opportunities in your life are all special and wonderful. Let no one in this world mistake you and cause you to believe otherwise. God loves you as you, not because you are like someone else.

If I could go back in time, that is exactly what I would have told my teenage self. If I would have learned this lesson much earlier it might have saved me a lot of time, stress, and trouble I spent trying to be something I’m not. So, take it from me, be who you are… and not somebody else.

Jen, 21, USA

One of the reasons glittr exists is because as women, we understand what life was like as a teenage girl and we want to offer support and guidance to girls around Romania. We offer events, small groups and resources to help young ladies in different areas of their lives.

In November we will be featuring a series on our glittr blog called, “What I Would Tell My Teenage Self”. Each week we will have a guest writer share their story from the perspective as an older woman. The women writing are from around the world and range in age between 20-35 years old.

As older women, we can look back and see how those teenage years are not easy and may be some of the most difficult moments in life. We want to share with you these women’s stories because it offers another perspective on what they learned and some of them you may find have been in similar situations as you. We all have our personal story with some good and bad moments that we may choose to remember or try to forget. As we grow older, we start to see things differently than when we were a teenager. We continue to learn more about ourselves and others. So, we ask that you keep yourself open to some of the advice or ideas these women may offer.

Take a moment. Read a story. Think about how it applies to you.

This series is not just another way to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. However, it is a way that we can offer guidance in saying, “Please, learn from our successes or mistakes.”

We want you to live your life to your fullest potential!

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11