Greetings to my young sisters in Romania. Although we are miles apart, and our age difference is great we have much in common. You see, each of us has a destiny in Christ and all have an important story to tell with our lives. Honestly one thing I would offer to each of you is to STOP looking back at your mistakes. God takes our mistakes and somehow weaves them into a story of redemption. The Bible tells us in Psalm 139 that God formed our inward parts, and that no matter where we are He is with us. “Oh Lord you have searched me and know me. You know my sitting down and my rising up. You understand my thought afar off..”

So point number:
1. Don’t look BACK unless it is to tell someone the story of how God redeemed your life. Yesterday is gone and HE is present with you NOW. He has a future and a hope for you so look FORWARD. And know that sometimes it is hard to even imagine all that God has in store for you. 1 Corinthians 2 verse 9 reminds us: What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived, the things God has prepared for those who LOVE Him. Wow that is really good news!!

2. It is so tempting to look at others and compare what you see in their lives, to what you see in yours. I want you to hear me say this really loud…KEEP YOU EYES ON HIM…. not others. God has written His story on your heart and He wants you to live that story. Over and over we are told to give thanks on all occasions, to praise God no matter what our circumstances because that shows our trust in His goodness and builds our hope and faith. When you compare yourself to someone else it is very easy to start thinking thoughts that do not line up with God’s heart and word for you. Remember that when you look at others mostly you will see what they want to be seen. God always looks at our hearts and we are not so good at looking at another’s heart and seeing clearly. If you do look at others, try looking at them with the love of God not in comparing with you.

3. Know that you are not the only person wondering how you fit it in this life. Every person wants to belong, and to feel loved. And with Christ in your life, His love never changes and does not depend on your circumstance. Looking back on my life there are times I wish I would have encouraged others more, and given others hope. I would tell my teenage self to slow down and see what God is doing in my life right now. I would look for how He is working all things together for my good instead of worrying how I fit in.

4. Pick your friends wisely and then be a good friend. It is so important to build community with others who have hopes, dreams, and faith like you, friends who love the same God you do. It is not that you won’t have others in your life who may have different beliefs than you do, but for close friends lean toward those who do. You want to build relationships with others who will build you up in the love of Christ, those who will give you courage and hope. Finding friends that you can share your life, vision, and heart with is a gift from God. Treat your friendships with love and grace….and have lots of fun. And find a friend who is older than you that you can share your heart with. And don’t forget to be a friend to those younger that you that need encouragement.

I pray each of you will know fully the love of God and have many years of building others up, of growing in His image, and shining brightly where you are planted. I pray that you will be confident of His goodness toward you and certain of the hope of your calling and I hope to hear the stories of your lives! Much love to you from this older woman in Indiana who still feels young in her heart because of Jesus.

Love,
Carla

Being a teenager is hard no matter which crowd you are in. If you are popular you are always having to have the right clothes, say the right things, have the perfect boyfriend and have a lot friends who hang on your every word.

If you are in the unpopular crowd you are always worried about if you will get made fun of today or if someone will be mean to you, etc.

As a teenager I think everyone deals with Insecurity and finding out who you are and what you will do with you life.

I would have told myself to live life to the fullest! Be bold in who you are and not be so worried if you have the right clothes on. All that doesn’t matter in life, what matters is who you are in Christ. What can you do to make a difference right where you are.

I would have focused more on studying and less on what others thought of me. Less on what guys thought and more of what God thought. I would say to myself to go after your dreams and don’t hold back.

I wouldn’t have allowed words to predict whether I would have went after my dreams. Those words of you can’t do that! I would have turned those words around and said I will! I would have listened more to advice from those who had wisdom in life.

I would say to my teenage self not to live life with regrets. To focus on what’s important and to never take for granted the moments in life you get. To make the most of every opportunity you have in life.

Starla, 32, USA

What I wish I could have told my teenage self…Blonde hair does not look good on you. Don’t buy those jeans – they will be out of style in a month!  Driving fast is not cool. Your mom is not trying to ruin your life – one day she’ll be your best friend. Don’t use foul language, don’t gossip, study hard and get good grades, don’t drink alcohol, don’t do drugs, keep your body to yourself! I could go on for pages!

The biggest piece of advice I wish I could have told my teenage self is… “don’t date him”. And when I say “him” I am referring to whole string of “him’s”. In the 5th grade I dated one of the most popular boys in my grade. I thought I was really special to be lucky enough to be called his girlfriend. This started a string of relationships in my life that I allowed to determine my self-worth (which in case you don’t know – is not a good reason to date someone!)

Each relationship was a stepping stone on a path leading me away from who God had called me to be. I allowed these relationships to define who I was and how others saw me. I wanted to be the life of the party, the girl up for anything, the girl who wouldn’t say no. Looking back it seems so silly… why would those titles be so important to me??? But they were. And all of them came with consequences:  Sickness and hangovers, public embarrassment, cheating and abusive boyfriends, a police record, and the loss of my virginity at a young age.

My Pastor once said “God never uses our past against us. When we live for Him He gives us a new present and a new future”. While I know Jesus forgives me, I wish I could have been spared the hurt of what I went through. Each day we are given choices. When I was a teenager I didn’t take time to stop and think about how each choice would change me. I made countless poor decisions that were based on getting attention from boys. What I wish I could have told my teenage self is being a smart, kind, honest woman will get you further in life than being “the pretty girl” will. I was so worried about being desirable or “sexy” that I hid who God made me. I wish I could have told myself being different is good. Being unique is desirable. I wish I could have told myself to believe in who God created me to be.

I wish I could have told myself to live for Jesus. Not just sometimes – but in all times and in all ways. If the God of the Universe was willing to die just for me, why don’t I live like I would die for Him?

God made you exactly the way you are for his purpose and HE has a plan for your life. He is the only “him” you need to worry about.

Renee, 30, USA

Dear teenage Amanda,

Where to begin…there’s so much I want to tell you while you are still young and have the rest of your life to live.

I know how hard it can be to be a teenage girl in this day and age. There are many pressures that you face on a daily basis. Whether it be from peers, social media, tabloids, or even at home, sometimes that pressure feels overwhelming.

The first thing I would tell you: A hunger need is a dangerous need. Be careful for what you’re “hungry” for. As girls, it’s easy to want attention, to be pursued, and to be wanted. When you don’t allow Christ to satisfy this deep hunger, you’ll start searching for it in other areas. Often time girls look for it in guys. That leads to a lot of regret and heartache. And when it’s all said and done, that “hunger” will never leave you satisfied. You’ll always be left wanting more and that road leads to a very dangerous path.

Secondly: when you compare and compete you live in defeat. Amanda, don’t compare yourself to others. God made you unique and special for such a time as this. The Bible says, “that I (Christ) have come to give you life and life to the fullest.”

When you don’t know your identity in Christ, you’ll live an unsatisfied life. You will never be happy or content. There is so much freedom when you know who you are in Christ. Nothing will stop you; nothing will hold you back. Find what you are gifted in and use that to build God’s Kingdom.

Finally, when you can’t see God’s hand; trust His heart. There will be many times in life when it feels like God is a million miles away. Just know that He is for you and will never leave you or forsake you. If you choose to fight through those dark and lonely times, you’ll see God’s character shine through each time.

Amanda, 30, USA

My name is Melissa, I am 6’2 (this will be important later) and happily married. I have a degree in Graphic Design, but a heart for people and helping them find their identity in Christ. Although it has been a little while since my teenage years (…I’m 31), many of the decisions I made then are still impacting me today.

When I was asked to look back at my life and give my “teenage self” some wisdom, so many things came to mind – but to narrow it down to just three things, here is what I know:
1. You’re more __________ than you think. Feel free to fill that blank in with any verb you are struggling with currently – brave, pretty, interesting, lovely, happy, blessed – whatever first comes to your mind. For me, that word was incredible (although all the other words were a close second).
Don’t hear this wrong – I am not promoting a conceded heart or an unhealthy reality (I definitely have weaknesses). I am promoting worth and value. See, I couldn’t look past my faults to really find my strengths. Despite literally towering over most of my friends, I often walked in their shadows – imagining myself to less “everything” than they were.
Because of this I didn’t fully embrace who I was and what I was capable of. So instead I looked to find my value in all the wrong places.
All this taught me that when all you look at is your own faults – others strengths will always outshine your own. I have not become famous or even come close to matching some of my friends strengths – but I have found my own version of “incredible”. Don’t underestimate yours.

2. This one is two parts.
A) Don’t take yourself too seriously (it’s no fun).
B) Don’t try to grow up too fast (it’s fun, but not until you’re actually grown up).
“A” is simple: BE SILLY! Yes, people are watching – but when you start to get shy -remember that if they are not being silly, they are actually envious that you have the courage to be fully you. Don’t be so serious. Try not to worry about what people think.
“B” is a little more complicated. Being a grown-up IS fun – but acting like a grown up when you’re in your teens is a recipe for disaster (emphasis added!). Making grown-up decisions before you are ready – results in outcomes that will stay with you your whole life. Always thinking about the future and never living in the moment – doesn’t make for good memories. Desiring, and chasing after, grown-up relationships and experiences –leaves you emptier than you were before they started (not to mention heartbroken). I made too many decisions, years before I should have, that ended in consequences that I have had to face multiple times over. “B” is hard… “B” hurts… because although I know that my past has made me who I am today, I’d rather not have a past to have to overcome. Look forward to becoming an adult – it can be wonderful – but be patient, you’ll get there. Act your age… it’s fun too.

3. This one is key. Really, I mean REALLY get to know Christ. I was lucky, I was the daughter of a pastor – I knew faith, and religion – I knew the ins and outs of church. What I didn’t know was Christ – and how much he loved me. All other things would have fallen into place if I had centered my life on Him. Decisions, consequences, love, happiness, confidence… God cares about everything. We recently had my 18 year old niece live with us and over, and over I found myself admiring her maturity in Christ that was way beyond her years. She chose right – only God can provide everything she needs, and her future will look a lot different because of her commitment. Above all else, let God guide your steps and He will weave your life together in a way that not even you could ever imagine.
That’s not remotely everything – but those are at the top of my list. Growing up is hard, but I promise you that you are capable of more than you could imagine.

Melissa, 31, USA